Mmmmm...

Well the semester is well under way.  Feeling pretty good about it. Feeling good about life in general.  I just recently made some purchases that will either help me or break me.  I bought a vox ac15, need it. And I bought a nice telescope to cure my cravings for astronomy, which is something I love but technically didn't have to have. Oh well. It will be nice to start on another hobby. All I do is music and xbox.  I mean, I do need some advice tho. Are hobbies healthy? not really in a spiritual sense, because I can use this to better appreciate God's creation. It's something I really enjoy and it takes my mind off of life.  When I gaze into the night sky I feel like Jesus is sitting right next to me in awe of it too.  Just sitting beneath a vast ocean of stars... I like where this is going. So it wasn't a bad decision after all. Yeah I like the scientific aspects of it too.  I do a good bit of learning and enjoy it through this kind of stuff.  Keep my mind sharp.  Well that amp I just got will be here Friday hopefully.  Oh man, it sounds amazing. Perfect compliment to my guitar and pedals. I love to worship.  Tonight I sat in on my friend Jordan's set tonight at the ark.  Yeah... it was good.  His presence was awesome and heavy.  It made me want to lie down and sleep.  I didn't think about anything but how thick it was in there.  I just wanted to sleep.  I went into a Jesus coma lol.  It was good.  Just resting in His presence. Nuthing like it. Props to my boy and Mandy. They were awesome.  I wish I could have stayed longer.  Had to go see the Philharmonic of Poland at Norton. Pretty good.  Their woodwind and brass sections sucked.  The strings were flawless.  Oh yeah,  I'll the other sections slide cuz of how good the strings where.  Good finale with Beethoven's 5th symphony.  I'm tired it's late

My heart

So school started today... again we walk through the same halls and see the faces, some old, some new.  Back to the grind some people would refer to it.  To me it was refreshing that school started in the cold, and in the snow... the ice. It's like when I think of Norway or Sweden it's always cold, and there's snow... the ice.  Beautiful places near the arctic, near the oceans and seas.  You look at the jagged coastline of Norway and see old houses and sea-ports.  It's makes me happy to think about these places. They're are simple fishing villages, simple village folk. Nothing to care about but to enjoy life.  To me, snow represents purity.  The soft blue that emits from the snow reflecting the sky is beautiful. A fresh start. That's when I realized to stop worrying... about my future, my joblessness, my school-work, my life in general.  When Jesus called me into the ministry, He didn't hand me a book and wish me good luck.  I've been worrying and "striving" to get where I think I'm supposed to go.  It finally sunk in today.  For the last few months I've quit seeking... gotten bored with my walk. I've always loved Jesus and always will. It's just that it wasn't fresh. I wasn't okay with who I was... and now I am.  I'm gonna let Him take me to those places I'm supposed to go.  I'm gonna start seeking and let Him put things where they're supposed to go in my life.  He guides our steps.  I'm gonna start thinking that literally.  Every place I go and every opportunity I get is not gonna be because I've gone out and found it, but it's gonna be because He put it there.  He really does guide our steps as long as we spend time with Him.  I'm called to play guitar and record music.  I'm not gonna seek after jobs and strive to find my place in this world.  I'm gonna let Him put everything in place.  Who needs a plan to fall back on when Jesus already has your path planned out for you? I'm comin out of the storm.  A fresh start to this year.  I'm okay with who I am now.  I don't go crazy and get the shakes during worship. I dont have to jump around and dance to worship my God.  I don't have to talk all proper when I pray.  I can tell Jesus how I really feel because He won't judge me. Even if i'm so mad and frustrated.  I can wear my heart on my sleeve if I want to, because He already knows how we feel.  And He will love us through our problems.  I'm human, I was created human, I will remain human until He returns.  So, I'm gonna mess up, get frustrated, doubt, and do all those other things because of that. He just wants us to acknowledge that He is God, and He wants us to let Him love us and for us to love Him.  That's it.  It's so simple but we lose focus.  I do all the time.  Tomorrow I'm gonna probably wake up and feel horrible.  That's how satan likes to attack me.  I wake up and feel worthless and unworthy.  So what,  I'm still loved and I have heaven to look forward too.  Let Him guide your steps and feel free to cry on his shoulder.  He'll listen even if your are not.  It's so good to know.  This semester is gonna be easy.  I was really stressin today because of this one class.  But now I know its gonna work out.  Jesus is gonna help me with it.  For so long I thought I was supposed to go all crazy and dance around during worship.  I'm so over that.  If that's your thing... go for it.  For me I would rather sit and meditate, or lie down and soak.   I'm sitting or laying down at his feet. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but the greatest praise you could give God is to sit down and acknowledge that He is God.  He says it in Psalms "be still, and know that I am God."    Mary sat at Jesus feet.  Oh man, she is the epitomy of what the bride of Christ should look like.  A sinner but a servant.  Eager to hear to voice of Jesus.  Soaking in His prescence.  She wasn't perfect and neither are we.  We're the same as the hooker that sat at Jesus feet.  What does that say?  We're no better than the meth head in projects a few blocks from our houses.  The hooker at the street corner in that bad part of town.  That homeless guy that was always trying to sell you something so that he could get his fix on drugs or food.   That weird kid that comes to whatever on that certain night of the month at our church. We're no better than the least of these.  That's where He's gonna lead us I think.  Sorry to rant but I'm am just pouring out my heart, and breathing a sigh of relief because Papa has us covered.  He listens to us, whether we cuss Him out or cry.  He doesn't judge, He loves.  And I'm not perfect but thats okay with Jesus.  He never really associated with "Perfect" people

Snow?

Yes... it snows in the south. 3-5 inches are predicted for tonight. Normally we just get a very light dusting if that. So i'm bored and decided to blog. I hope church is cancelled tonight. Not because I hate God but because I don't want to drive. I'm tired of driving everywhere. I live 30 min away from everthing. I hate living in the middle of nowhere. I want to move into Florence. Closer to school, friends, and fun.  The new year brings new purchases so.... Vox ac15 will be purchased next week, and I have to put money into my car. New pads and rotors gotta be put on. Thats a crap ton of money too.... My fast ends Wed and I'm headed straight for the closest burger joint to get some meat lol.  This fast has been nice.  It shocks your routine up so much that youre much more focused.  Ive definitely noticed a change, espescially in worship. It's like I can feel again.  So now i'm really looking forward to tuesday when I go to the ark and play with Rachel.  It's gonna be good. I wish I had a descent acoustic but the gretsch will do for now. It sounds okay but it's an electric. I'd rather have an acoustic for what we're doing. I beat halo reach today. I hated the ending... and that's what i'm about to go do, play on live.

The new year

Many have said this is the year... a year where sadness will be turned to joy, death will be overcome by life, glory will come down from the heavens, and victory will come to those who have waited.  Those things are what it's about. I was kinda stand-off-ish at first about declared these things about this year.  I don't know what's in store for me.  Ive been on a plateau for so long... I don't know what its gonna feel like to start climbing again, fighting for every breath, and overcoming my storms.  I've waited so long for victory in my life.  I waited so long for the profesies to begin to be fufilled.  It's happening, something new is starting.  2010 was preparation but 2011 is a year that we activate our faith, unite as one, reach out to the lost, to the sick, to the hurt, and show them love... a love that once consumed me. I want it all back, and I'm gonna take by force. That love compelled me to walk in holiness.  I took a nazarite vow in February, the time to renew our vows is coming. I will prophesy that this is the year that we truly crucify ourselves and make history.  I declare that we will walk with the promised annoiting of the holy spirit and truly change our campuses, our cities, our homeland. We will not back down, we will take it by storm with Jesus guiding our path. Many of the called are going to take the call and become the chosen.  We will ride out in victory this year.  A year that started with physical rain is just a simple taste of what is in store for this year. His prescense is pouring out this year unlike ever before. Rain from heaven will surround us with His prescense. It's so exciting to see what's in store. A fast begins all over the nation this month. Me personally, i'm doing a modified daniel fast but keeping the days to the same amout that daniel did. 10 days of only drinking water and no meat... I'm kind of excited because a neighboring church(the ark) is starting 24/7 prayer for the month of January. Oh man it's gonna be good. I also get to play with a friend at this prayer gathering. A couple of times a week I believe, 2 hr slots. Worship is fun to me... being the guitarist for a worship team is what I'm destined to do.  Breakthrough is going to happen in my home church, I just know it.  I'm getting so down and discouraged about it.  It's rough for me.  So that's a sure sign that breakthrough is coming for me and my church.  A good year is in store.